. Big companies don`t do business via chain letter. Bill Gates is not
giving
you $1000, and Disney is not giving you a free vacation. There is no baby
food
company issuing class-action checks. You can relax; there is no need to pass
it
on "just in case it`s true". Furthermore, just because someone said in the
message, four generations back, that "we checked it out and it`s legit",
does
not actually make it true.
2. There is no kidney theft ring in New Orleans. No one is waking up in a
bathtub full of ice, even if a friend of a friend swears it happened to
their
cousin. If you are hellbent on believing the kidney-theft ring stories,
please
see:
Http: //Urbanlegends. Tqn. Com/library/weekly/aa062997. Htm.
And I quote: "The National Kidney Foundation has repeatedly issued requests
for
actual victims of organ thieves to come forward and tell their stories. None
have. " That`s "none" as in "zero". Not even your friend`s cousin.
3. Neiman Marcus doesn`t really sell a $200 cookie recipe. And even if they
do,
we all have it. And even if you don`t, you can get a copy at:
Http: //Www. Bl. Net/forwards/cookie. Html.
Then, if you make the recipe, decide the cookies are that awesome, feel free
to
pass the recipe on sans the Neiman Marcus story.
4. We all know all 500 ways to drive your roommates crazy, irritate
co-workers
and creep out people on an elevator. We also know exactly how many
engineers,
college students, usenet posters and people from each and every world
ethnicity
it takes to change a lightbulb.
5. Even if the latest Nasa rocket disaster(s) Did contain plutonium that
went
to particulate over the eastern seaboard, do you Really think this
information
would reach the public via an Aol chain-letter?
6. There is no "Good Times" virus. In fact, you should never, ever, ever
forward any email containing any virus warning unless you first confirm it
at
an actual site of an actual company that actually dealswith virises. Try:
Http: //Www. Norton. Com.
And even then, don`t forward it. We don`t care.
7. If your Cc: List is regularly longer than the actual content of your
message, you`re probably going to Hell.
8. If you`re using Outlook, Ie, or Netscape to write email, turn off the
"Html
encoding. " Those of us on unix shells can`t read it, and don`t care enough
to
save the attachment and then view it with a web browser, since you`re
probably
forwarding us a copy of the Neiman Marcus Cookie Recipe anyway.
9. If you still absolutely Must forward that 10th-generation message from a
friend, at least have the decency to trim the eight miles of headers showing
everyone else who`s received it over the last 6 months. It sure wouldn`t
hurt
to get rid of all the that begin each line. Besides, if it has gone around
that
many times I`ve probably already seen it.
10. Craig Shergold in England is not dying of cancer or anything else at
this
time and would like everyone to stop sending him their business cards. He
apparently is also no longer a "little boy" either.
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